So, I did get back to My Search for Christopher on the Other Side by Joe McQuillen and continued to read. The great thing about the book is that Joe does get in touch with his son. This is something I also tell people who have lost a loved one. You can be in touch. You may not be able to wrap your arms around him/her but you can learn how to develop that part of you that can see beyond the veil. Just knowing that they look after you, sometimes guiding you or sending messages (if you are alert you will receive them) in one way or another is comfort.
Guy’s coming to me by flicking my hair was a great comfort at the time. I didn’t have that when my son Kenny passed away six years earlier. His passing sent me on a quest to understand death and that brought me to understand life. My continued path of learning brought Kenny to me as a vision of him appeared before me. He was ten years old, grinning like he had just caught a big fish. His dark hair was too long and his pants were too short. That was him at ten. Growing fast. The image of him was quite unexpected and a moment that I hold very close to my heart. My journey is working. I’m learning to open my heart, eyes, and ears to feel them when they are near. I have learned that their passing away early in life was part of my journey, too. Does this mean that I don’t cry anymore?
Actually long periods of time pass without my thinking of them. I chose to live rather than waste away in a corner weeping for what I don’t have. They are with me always. It’s like carrying a favorite lacy handkerchief in my pocket. I know it’s there if I am about to sneeze but I don’t have to be conscious of it all the time.
Kenny’s ashes are in Arlington. Guy’s are buried with my mother’s in an herb garden I planted. I respect anyone who needs to be physically close to their loved one’s grave or ashes, but I don’t need to do that. I am quite content because I know they are joyful right where they are. How can I not be happy when they are? That doesn’t mean I don’t miss the adults they would have become. At times, like reading Joe McQuillen’s book it brought my loss home to me. It’s a good cry when it comes, healthy, clears out my sinuses and releases a sadness deep within. I still love them to bits.
I highly recommend My Search for Christopher on the Other Side. He is a brave man to share intimate feelings so others may find comfort and learn from his experience. It is a definite read for anyone wanting to know more about life and death and the life that comes after. My hat is off to you Joe!
